Ramblings of Guilt

Ramblings of Guilt

As I look around, the sights are horrendous.
Lives are strewn to the curb in pandemonium.
Generations of belongings lain out like a yard sale gone very, very wrong!

One can glean everything about the inhabitants of this so-called dwelling,
if one is so bold as to look.
Their reading habits, their hobbies, their love of movies and music
are not a secret to anyone who wishes to peruse the piles
growing ever higher beside their tract of land.

One’s senses kick in to high gear.…
It’s the stench of rot, mud, slime, and mold.
The sight of wood swollen and warped by water to generations of furniture
that in your gut, you just know have been passed down.
It’s the taste of a meal that some kind person has handed to you,
and the feel of sheetrock and insulation laden with odious water.
It’s also the sound of the chainsaws during the day, and the generators that lull you to sleep at night.

These are the abominations and the legacy of Katrina.

Guilt over washes me, for I have lost little.
My home is fairly intact.
For what I have lost, compared to others, my family and I have suffered little.
I have a home, I have comforts….
And most thankfully, I have all my family members!

But I have lost peace of mind.

I’ve lain in bed, crying for the mere fact I have a bed to lie in.
I’ve cried when I’ve fed my pet, thankful that she’s still with me.
I’ve agonized over the haves and have nots.
I’ve hated the devastation I’ve seen.

I’ve detested the rivers of tears, and swollen, puffy eyes of the brave,
not wanting to burden others with their woes.
There is repugnance at what is left of this once beautiful area.
Will I ever get over it? Will I ever “deal”?
Though I haven’t suffered as much in an object-oriented way,
Perhaps, I too have suffered at the hands of Katrina?

© ~!~ Becky ~!~ 9/30/05